Cayenne Hot Sauces

Get your hands on some of Alien Anal Probe Xtra Terestial hot sauce for a burn that is out of this world. Had E.T. tried some of this sauce, he wouldn't have even been able to phone home. He simply wouldn't have had a voice left. You will feel like a white, hot probe has just been inserted into your rectum, but it is the absolute toughest sauce you will ever love. You can even show it to your leader.

Like an ulcer that continues to expand, Ass in Antartica Hot Sauce will take the hole in the ozone layer and rip it wide open. Good thing you do not live in the north pole, because this sauce is so hot, it is likely to take the giant chunk of ice right off of the map. Now we finally know the truth, melting icebergs have nothing to do with global warming, but the ass warming effects of this hot sauce.

Ass in Hell Hot Sauce - There's no journey to self-discovery that starts here. There is no limbo. And you're no Dante. You are, however, in the ninth circle of hell when you discover the level of heat this sauce can produce. Welcome to your very own circle of hell. Dante showed us that every unsavory action we take in life results in a proper punishment in hell. We'd like to know what you did to deserve the burn in store!

Houston, you may see a really big, messy problem starting to fire up on your launch pad once you shuttle Ass in Space Hot Sauce to your tastebuds, then to infinity and beyond. With one taste, we think this sauce might launch Uranus into orbit. Seriously, just one little taste and your ass is going to blast off. Better have a some rocket fuel on back up, because you are going to blow all of your engines at lift off.

Ass in the Tub Hot Sauce is so hot it will sizzle your nuts clean off! And if you are female, then you just plain lucked out! You will need to add some ice to your bathtub to aid in curing the burn. Not certified as a birth control method, but we think this might slow your baby maker down just a little. If you are this much of a numbnuts to taste this sauce in the first place, maybe it is a good thing that you are not able to procreate!

The Big Hot One hot sauce is like the Queen Latifah of hot sauce. You are not really sure whether this sauce has been loved more by men or women. Queen Latifah can be smokin' hot when she wants to, but one tough broad when she has to. And just like Queen, this sauce has its very own flavor, and is not out to prove itself to anybody. You can take it or leave it, but it will put on quite a performance.

Could there be more hell in store after you keel over from Blair's After Death hot sauce? If you could feel it after you are sent to the hereafter, you would know that there is much, much worse in store. Try having a sharp knife slice through your sternum, having someone reach in and pull out your insides, and then having the burning trapped in when they sew up your lips from the inside. There is a fate worse then death--it is After Death.

Blair's MegaDeath Hot Sauce - Just like the Megadeath album, killing is this sauce's business, and business is good! Even if you have never listened to Megadeath, you can fully appreciate that this sauce is so killer, it is named for serious metal. We should tell you that when this sauce meets metal, it is likely to burn through it. First, this sauce will kill off your tastebuds, then will go for the rest of your body. You will probably wish you were dead by the time it finds its way out!

We hope you have a hospital or a walk in clinic nearby (not that you will actually be in any shape to physically walk in). We hope your insurance covers stitching up of the shitter. You are going to need to buy a brand new asshole when you are done with this shitter shredding sauce. Of course everybody poops, but Brand New Asshole hot sauce takes it to the extremes. You will be pooping until there is nothing more to poop than tomorrow's dinner.

If you need oral surgery of any kind, you just might consider using Crazy Mother Pucker's Cayenne Concoction Hot Sauce a little like novocaine or nitrous oxide. Seriously, if you administer just one CC of this stuff to your pie hole, you might experience complete anesthesia of the mouth. You better not fall asleep after eating it though, if you do you just might wake up without teeth! Better brush your teeth after eating this sauce. Would hate for the acid to disintegrate them.

If you think Crazy Mother Pucker's Groovy Garlic Hot Sauce is not hot, you must be trippin'. Perhaps you are on acid? If you are on this sauce, you are definitely dropping acid, and you are probably dropping your pants. Get your head out of the gutter! We mean that you are dropping your pants to drop a load in the toilet. It certainly is not pretty, but it is a way of life when you love sauce this much.

Just like a fire ant, you'll have the fire power to carry twice your weight and burn everything you touch after just a drop of Fire Ant Juice hot sauce! We aren't making a mountain out of an anthill. We're absolutely serious when we say that you'd rather be picked apart alive by vultures then succomb to the burning flagration this sauce presents. But if you do dare do the ant, just go one drop at a time.

This sizzlin' sauce delivers all the sweltering heat of being at the beach on a scorching summer day, watching a swarm of hot bitchy broads sunning their backs, boobs and round little bottoms. That is what summer is all about, right? Hot Bitch At The Beach is so smokin' hot, it might even singe your speedo right off! And, thanks to this sauce, you can capture that bitchin' beachy feeling without getting sand all up in your crotch.

Bend over and take this Pleasure & Pain Rated XXX Hot Sauce. You better be ready to scream out its name. This sauce is your daddy. We know how hot this stuff is, and we think that only a true sadist would submit themselves to this type of abuse...and like it. Whips, chains, barbed wire and duct tape have nothing on this sauce. If you are into wearing rubber and leather, we will warn you that this sauce might melt it right off.

Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when this Pure Cayenne hot sauce is sprayed at you? This is the ultimate pepper spray. Cops worldwide could use this stuff to detain criminals. Obviously, you can use this sauce for good or evil, but even when it's good, it's very very bad. If you've ever wondered what battery acid tastes like, here's a good point of reference. Maybe you could even jump start a car with it?