Dave's Insanity Sauces

Dave's Adjustable Hot Sauce - When you have tasted other sauce in the past, you might have said "this one is too hot." "This one is too mild." But rest assured, this sauce is juuuuuust right. Only you decide how much heat is enough for you to "bear." Only you can prevent forest fires too. One way to help prevent them...do not eat Dave's Adjustable Hot Sauce in the woods. You might start a wildfire by dropping some of this sauce on the ground, or breathing too close to a tree.

Once you taste Dave's Ghost Pepper Hot Sauce, we will expect to see you in the next life! If there really is such a thing as reincarnation, then we think that this sauce must have been a dragon in its past life, because this stuff can have you breathing fire! You will level the entire kingdom and dry up the moat with your fire breath after dipping into this stuff. Could come in handy if someone dies though, as you can breath on them and incinerate them per the funerary method of the age.

We don't know Dave personally, but we know if he tasted Dave's Hurtin' Habanero Hot Sauce, he is probably now hurting from nose to hose. Your name does not have to be Dave to appreciate this sauce. In fact, this sauce is more to remember the Dave behind the sauce. If he is still with us, he has probably sacrificed his every taste bud delivering the perfect sauce to the masses. If he has moved to the great beyond, then this sauce may or may not have been the culprit.

Ouchie-wa-wa, Dave's Hurtin' Jalapeno Hot Sauce smarts. Better call a wambulance, 'cause you will be crying once you ingest this pain in a bottle. Technically, this bottle should probably carry a warning label or something, but we will just give you a verbal warning here. Do not be stupid. Use with caution. Slippery when wet. Okay, that last one was just silly, but you cannot be too careful when it comes to what you do with this sauce!

Somebody please sew up this Duggar woman's vagina, okay? This has gotten out of hand. Just because people can reproduce, does not necessarily mean that it is a necessity. Dave's Insanity Sauce is a necessity, so if you want to multiply something, how about you go forth and multiply this sauce? Honestly, if anything else in the world could cause extreme behavior and lapse in judgement, it would be this sauce. Maybe the Duggar's thought it was birth control?

This is the Britney Spears of hot sauce. Sometimes you have to chalk up your nutty behavior to youth, inexperience, or just plain craziness. There is simply no excuse for cuddling up to a turd like Kevin Federline though. You are better off warming up to Dave's Temporary Insanity Sauce on cold nights, or leaving your kids with this sauce. You have to be a little shade of nuts to try this sauce. Even more sick to try it a second time. We hope that if this sauce does not perk you right up, you go seek professional help!

Kids are definitely not cheaper by the dozen, and they are not exactly cheap in 8s. You can pretty much forget all about me time, you can forget about alone time, and you can forget the very notion of time itself. Time becomes inconsequential when there are so many mouths to feed. Like John and Kate Plus 8, Dave's Total Insanity Hot Sauce robs you of time, because you will start spending all of your time with it.

We will go ahead and relate this sauce to something everyone can understand. It is just like John and Kate, minus Kate, and plus the 8. Like Kate, you really do not know how you can survive with just Dave's Ultimate Insanity Hot Sauce, but you also need to know if you can get along without it? With this sauce, you have a support group and spectators, but you also have no idea how you're going to be able to survive it alone, do you?