10 Hot Sauce
Like Bo Derek, 10 Hot Sauce is a perfect 10, even if it has been around the block a couple times. And as far as how hot it is heatwise, it would definitely rate a 10 as well. And how much pain will it cause you? You have seen the pain scale at the doctor's office, right? Well, this sauce is sure to put a pain of 10 on your face, but boy is it worth it!
Our price: $9.95
Asbirin Hot Sauce
If you prescribe to Asbirin Hot Sauce, you might get rid of the headache, but you may experience some serious but rare side effects such as dry mouth, diarrhea and constipation. As always, do not take if you are pregnant, nursing or want to keep your butthole intact. As with all prescription drugs, do not take more than the recommended dosage, and you better take with food! This stuff is guaranteed not to make you drowsy either.
Our price: $5.95
Ass in the Tub Armageddon Special Reserve
Rub a dub dub, your ass is staying in the tub for good after you have some of Ass in the Tub Armageddon Special Reserve hot sauce. You better keep the cold water running and your ass glued to the faucet after daring to dabble with this sauce. This sauce delivers an apocolyptic burn that does not fade quickly. And we do not need a prophecy to foretell the pain and suffering your ass is in for. The burn in this bottle could only come from the Antichrist.
Our price: $9.95
Ass Kickin Cajun Hot Sauce
This Ass Kickin Cajun Hot Sauce is ragin' cajun and will rip your rear end to shreds. Whoooo! We guar-ahn-tee… This Ass Kickin Cajun Hot Sauce is hotter than Girls Gone Wild Mardi Gras edition. Sorry, we can't do anything about girl on girl action...that, friends, is completely up to you. We just make the sauce, it is up to you what you drizzle it on. We don't know that we would recommend doing body shots with it thought. A shot of that stuff and you would try to suck the bayou dry, gators and all, just to relieve the sting.
Our price: $4.95
Ass Kickin Roasted Garlic Hot Sauce
Tired of all the hubbub around the stupid Twilight movies? Then kick some vampire ass right out of the house with this Ass Kickin Roasted Garlic Hot Sauce. You won't see the site of a moody teen or their vampire obsession when you keep the family focused on burning them at the stake with this sauce. You can even stave of a pack of werewolves with this sauce. It is so hot, they won't bother bringing their mangy asses your way.
Our price: $4.95
Ass Kickin' Hot Sauce
Ass Kickin' Hot Sauce - Ask someone to slap you, pinch you, kick you, punch you, and we guarantee they all seem like love taps next to Ass Kickin Hot Sauce. And it is not just the intense burning in your churning in your guts that make this battery acid in a bottle the most brutal thing your stomach has ever experienced. It is what comes next. An ass kicking seems mild compared to the next few hours your ass will endure.
Our price: $4.95
Ass Reaper Hot Sauce
Ass Reaper Hot Sauce is proof that you should not believe everything you hear. You should, in fact, fear the reaper. This sauce will not wait until you are on your death bed to seek your soul. It wants to claim you when you are perfectly healthy, but weak in your desire for sauce. It will wait until you are happily munching on meat kicked up with ass reaper. It will come to take its seat with your seat. You reap what you sow!
Our price: $9.95
Ass Whoopin Redneck Sauce
You will have to go call child and family welfare on this sauce, 'cuz it is all about hauling off and slapping everybody around. It may apologize profusely, but it can't help from doing it again. It is so hot, it could melt the tires off your El Camino, and that baby is up on blocks! Usually the pavement feels hot enough to fry an egg. This time, the pavement better watch out in case you drip a drop of Ass Whoopin Redneck Sauce on it!
Our price: $5.95
Backdraft Hot Sauce
Backdraft Hot Sauce will cause a 4 alarm fire in your mouth! And "turd" degree burns on your rear end. Better call the fire department and your next of kin! They will need to douse the flames and take down names before the night is over. And they may have to perform a search and rescue when you go into the bathroom and do not come out for hours and hours. You can't avoid the flames, but you can take precautions to stop the spread...keep the sauce all to yourself!
Our price: $5.95
Bee Sting Honey 'N Habanero Pepper Sauce
Bee Sting Honey 'N Habanero Pepper Sauce is hot and sticky sweet from your head down to your feet, yeah! You can pour all the sugar you want to on a person, but they still will not be as delectable as this sauce. And, you really will not be tempted by just sugar. Though it could be dangerous to slather yourself with this sauce, anyone that is having a hard time finding a date, might try it. We think that many many people will want to get up close and personal with you then.
Our price: $5.95
Bee Sting Mango Passion Hot Sauce
Now you know the real secret to having lips like Angelina Jolie. It must be Bee Sting Mango Passion Hot Sauce. No wonder Brad Pitt hangs around…it must be for a taste of this sauce that is still lingering on Angie's lips. The attraction is finally starting to make perfect sense. Perhaps Angie flies just to get to this sauce too? Maybe she even has a lair with an entire stash of it! Better get to this bottle before Angie does.
Our price: $5.95
Big Johnson's Twice Burnin' Hot Sauce
More burning here than Lindsay Lohan's fire crotch. And just like Lindsay, you will not know which way to go when you taste Big Johnson's Twice Burnin' Hot Sauce. You might be left a little confused. You might come to love this sauce so much that you would spend half the night on someone's doorstep, just trying to get another taste. We suppose it is better to be living it up with this sauce, versus the other kind of sauce.
Our price: $5.95
Black Mamba Hot Sauce
Black Mamba Hot Sauce has an appropriate name for a concoction with a hell of a bite, and it will act like a snake for your plumbing, and pushing it out in a jiffy! And, true to its name, it just may turn your mouth, your insides and your poor little sphincter black! You might fart out ashes! When this snake strikes, it could swell your lips up for sure. But the only antidote is water and time.
Our price: $19.95
Blair's After Death
Could there be more hell in store after you keel over from Blair's After Death hot sauce? If you could feel it after you are sent to the hereafter, you would know that there is much, much worse in store. Try having a sharp knife slice through your sternum, having someone reach in and pull out your insides, and then having the burning trapped in when they sew up your lips from the inside. There is a fate worse then death--it is After Death.
Our price: $6.95
Blair's Golden Death Hot Sauce
The box says:
It's Goldelicious!! Just the right amount of heat for just about everything!!
DEAR CHILLIPAL
Since 1989, it has been my passion to create food that makes you smile. I love to watch your eyes light up, your face fill with laughter, and the warm glow of heat make you FEEL ALIVE!!!
I am fun in a bottle for you to enjoy!
Welcome to my wonderful world of spice!
Just be yourself and Feel Alive!!
Your Chillipal,
Blair Lazar.
It's Goldelicious!! Just the right amount of heat for just about everything!!
DEAR CHILLIPAL
Since 1989, it has been my passion to create food that makes you smile. I love to watch your eyes light up, your face fill with laughter, and the warm glow of heat make you FEEL ALIVE!!!
I am fun in a bottle for you to enjoy!
Welcome to my wonderful world of spice!
Just be yourself and Feel Alive!!
Your Chillipal,
Blair Lazar.
Our price: $6.95
Blair's Hot Sauce
Talk about being burned at the stake! Blair's Hot Sauce is a real witch. And like the Blair Witch, it is mostly only scary because everyone else tells you it is scary. And we are here to tell you that you SHOULD be scared. Like the Blair Witch, this sauce really is more a mystery than horror. You don't really know how bad it is until you see it for yourself! You need to taste this sauce for yourself to believe that it either is, or isn't, a horror.
Our price: $5.95
Blair's MegaDeath Hot Sauce
Blair's MegaDeath Hot Sauce - Just like the Megadeath album, killing is this sauce's business, and business is good! Even if you have never listened to Megadeath, you can fully appreciate that this sauce is so killer, it is named for serious metal. We should tell you that when this sauce meets metal, it is likely to burn through it. First, this sauce will kill off your tastebuds, then will go for the rest of your body. You will probably wish you were dead by the time it finds its way out!
Our price: $9.95
Blair's Pure Death Hot Sauce
Blair's Pure Death Hot Sauce is so incredibly hot, you will probably kick the bucket just by taking a big whiff of it. And maybe it will not do you in right away, especially if you are super careful, but abusing this sauce to the point that you overdose on it, you will definitely bite the big one. Though, you might just bite into a big one instead…a sandwich, that is, especially if it is smothered in this stuff.
Our price: $7.95
Blair's Sudden Death
Blair's Sudden Death - Don't you know how fragile a thing life is? You will once you taste this sauce! We really are not sure why anyone wants to risk losing it all to sauce, but there are just some really crazy folks out there. We suppose you are one of them? Oh well, you know what they say...no brain, no pain. It is your brain you are putting in jeopardy, not ours. Better get your affairs in order.
Our price: $8.95
Blair's Ultra Death Sauce
Taste Blair's Ultra Death Sauce and you dig your own grave. If you want to be remembered, you better commission your own headstone, because you might take down the rest of your family with the aftermath this sauce creates. At the same token, you might not want to taste this sauce if you are going to be all alone. We certainly do not want you to die alone. Sauce is meant to be enjoyed in the company of those that can join in your misfortune.
Our price: $9.95
Blind Betty Blind in the Rind Hot Sauce
You better have one hell of a thick skin if you are going to pony up and try this Blind Betty Blind in the Rind Hot Sauce. You might even want to do it blind folded to make it more exciting and experience it from Betty's perspective. It is pretty appealing, but not at all kind. Like Blind Betty's other creations, there is not much she has left out. Maybe she can't see, but she can certainly feel the burn that this sauce creates, so she knows when it is just right.
Our price: $5.95
Blue's Habanero Reserve Hot Sauce
Please do not be blue. You can have Blue's Habanero Reserve Hot Sauce! We would have to say that this sauce is a natural antidepressant. Why, when you take this in the prescribed dose, you will be dancing and shouting and making merry in no time! Seriously, this sauce could light up anybody's face. It would, of course, we a light with a red hue, but it will restore some of your vitality. Then again, if you get too much, you might risk an overdose!
Our price: $6.95
Buhba's Butt Blaster Hot Sauce
For an exercise in serious sauce, you will want to join Buhba's Butt Blaster Hot Sauce. This routine has nothing to do with cardio, but the affects might give you one heck of a gluteal workout. You have been up in the gym working on your fitness for how long? Well, in just one night, you will drop the baby weight, the spare tire, and the rest of your guts. This is a workout. Call it bathroom calisthenics.
Our price: $5.95
Camel Toe Hot Sauce
Camel Toe Hot Sauce is like arid desert heat between your lips. And sorta like Iraq between your crack. Hot and miserable, but quite something to behold. With the burn you get from this sauce, you might need another pair of pants on hand, in case you can't make it to the bathroom, or in case you get a little bloatey. Better put on your stretchy old woman pants, you may need room for the expansion. We are talking good old-fashioned elastic britches.
Our price: $5.95
Colon Blow Hot Sauce
Colon Blow Hot Sauce is very likely to help you toot your own horn. Heck, you may as well have been in the orchestra. With the practice you get, you ought to be able to get it to sound just like a horn after all is said and done.Sounds pretty uncomfortable after the heat is gone, but boy does it have explosive flavor! This produces what they call a "butt trumpet". It puts the ass in Brass band.
Our price: $6.95
Crazy Jerry's Brain Damage Hot Sauce
Crazy Jerry's Brain Damage Hot Sauce - Relax…you really didn't have all that much left to damage anyhow, let's face it, you were dense enough to try it in the first place, you nitwit. And, we are sure you will probably go back for more and more as time goes on too, because you will continue to kill more and more of your brain cells and forget how damn hot the stuff is. At least is makes more sense than abusing drugs. Because at least you get some nutritional value, and some taste!
Our price: $5.95
Crazy Mother Pucker's Fire Roasted Fusion Hot Sauce
Crazy Mother Pucker's Fire Roasted Fusion Hot Sauce is fast, hot and effective, just like a blowtorch. With just one teeny tiny touch, it could do the job of a million peppers, a million red hot pokers, and a million fire ants. Hell, it may even fuse your lips and butthole together. You must be nuts to play with this fire. Though if you play with this fire, you may no longer have nuts to boast of. And if you are a girl, you lucked out. The flames may not reach your chest.
Our price: $8.95
Crazy Mother Pucker's Peachy Perversion Hot Sauce
When you taste Crazy Mother Pucker's Peachy Perversion Hot Sauce, you just might think of the song peaches, because it literally tastes like millions of peaches are stuffed in the bottle. Sweet, hot, kicked up peaches all for you. And, if you only have peach fuzz going on, this sauce could also give you a five o'clock shadow, or maybe even a full on beard. Just like the other type of peaches bouncing around out there, this sauce is well rounded and succulent.
Our price: $8.95
Da Bomb Beyond Insanity
Da Bomb Beyond Insanity Hot Sauce - Have you ever had a pest problem that required you to bomb the whole house? Well, you can imagine the scene. As clouds descend upon the house and the spiders and ants go ass over legs, everybody takes their bags and heads to a hotel for the night. Now, there is never a need to bomb the house again. You can skip the bombs, the traps, the rat poison and the exterminator. Now, all you have to do is leave a little drop of this liquid death out!
Our price: $6.95
Dave's Hurtin' Habanero Hot Sauce
We don't know Dave personally, but we know if he tasted Dave's Hurtin' Habanero Hot Sauce, he is probably now hurting from nose to hose. Your name does not have to be Dave to appreciate this sauce. In fact, this sauce is more to remember the Dave behind the sauce. If he is still with us, he has probably sacrificed his every taste bud delivering the perfect sauce to the masses. If he has moved to the great beyond, then this sauce may or may not have been the culprit.
Our price: $5.95
Dave's Ultimate Insanity Hot Sauce
We will go ahead and relate this sauce to something everyone can understand. It is just like John and Kate, minus Kate, and plus the 8. Like Kate, you really do not know how you can survive with just Dave's Ultimate Insanity Hot Sauce, but you also need to know if you can get along without it? With this sauce, you have a support group and spectators, but you also have no idea how you're going to be able to survive it alone, do you?
Our price: $8.95
Don't Piss Me Off Hot Sauce
You can try, but we do not think that you can piss off this sauce, it already has a bone to pick and it is ready to get you riled up. If you are looking to go toe to toe with the baddest sauce out there, then step up to the plate fool! Then, smother your mother lovin' meat in Don't Piss Me Off Hot Sauce and lick up every drop. We will see who is pissed off then. You might be so on fire that you are begging to be pissed on.
Our price: $6.95
Fire Ant Juice
Just like a fire ant, you'll have the fire power to carry twice your weight and burn everything you touch after just a drop of Fire Ant Juice hot sauce! We aren't making a mountain out of an anthill. We're absolutely serious when we say that you'd rather be picked apart alive by vultures then succomb to the burning flagration this sauce presents. But if you do dare do the ant, just go one drop at a time.
Our price: $5.95
Goin' Bananas Hot Sauce
This shit is totally bananas. And we are not monkeying around a bit. You will go ape shit over this Goin' Bananas Hot Sauce and its intense Caribbean flavor mon. It is hot, but you can even put this stuff on ice cream! Would you dare put any other sauce on ice cream besides chocolate and caramel? It is a concept that is truly bananas, but it just might be delicious! You will never know until you try!
Our price: $5.95
Great White Shark Predator Hot Sauce
You are gonna need a bigger boat if you are stalking Great White Shark Predator Hot Sauce. Otherwise, it will take a bite out of you, the second it smells blood or fear. This sauce has some serious teeth. Rows and rows of piercing teeth even. This sauce is so hot it is sure to chomp you to itty bitty bits. We also would not recommend skinny dipping in this sauce, as it just might burn your bikini right off.
Our price: $5.95
Green Bandit Cilantro Habanero Hot Sauce
Green Bandit Cilantro Habanero Hot Sauce will catch you green handed, red faced, and brown around your chocolate frown. We realize that you are not especially worried about being caught loving this sauce with all of your might, because truthfully there is no shame in it. There is just something so intoxicating about the dangerous heat of this sauce. This sauce is an outlaw. If you find it though, you probably will not turn it in. You might exchange a little taste for its freedom.
Our price: $5.95
Gringo Bandito Hot Sauce
Hey muchacho, Gringo Bandito Hot Sauce es muy loco. And mucho, mucho caliente. In fact, it is hot enough to turn a white dude red. When you get up on a Saturday with a monster hunger, what are you going to use as a condiment at breakfast, Gringo Bandito or ketchup? If you like your omlette kicked up and crazy, versus pussified, go ahead and sprinkle a dose of this on your over easies, hombre. You probably won't be able to siesta after though!
Our price: $5.95
Habanero Hot Sauce From Hell
This Habanero Hot Sauce From Hell hot sauce is strong enough to turn imps into wimps. Even if you are a real devil, this sauce still might be a shade hotter than what your body can handle. We liken it to the lovely ladies you see on Bridezillas. You know that deep down there was a reason you are stuck with them, but by golly, you're just not sure you can tolerate them any longer. Just one run in with this bitch is probably enough.
Our price: $5.95
Heartbreaking Dawns 1542 Chocolate Habanero Hot Sauce
Heartbreaking Dawns focuses on both flavor and heat to bring you 1542. It was in this year that Francisco de Orellana, in search of gold and cinnamon, arrived at the mouth of the Amazon River. This sauce features the Chocolate Habanero, also known as the Congo Peppers. The high heat congo comes alive within a blend of narural garlic and cumin flavors. Each of our gourmet fiery products are crafted with a precision and love that we know you'll be able to taste.
Our price: $6.95
Heartbreaking Dawns Classic Gold Hot Sauce
Heartbreaking Dawns Classic Gold Hot Sauce - The slightly sweet flavors that precede that habańero heat create a universal taste that will accent all types of food. Whether it's Mexican, Caribbean, or good old American BBQ, Heartbreaking Dawns Classic Gold is sure to delight the senses.
Our price: $6.95
Heine Hurtin' Hot Sauce
Like a pretty boy jailed up with no hope of parole, you will be dying to escape the clutches of this sauce, and get your heinie to healin'. You know what happens in the merry old land of Oz, do you not? And no, we do not mean the Land of Oz where Dorothy went to see the wizard. We are talking in the can. And that is right where you are going to get it after you taste Heine Hurtin' Hot Sauce.
Our price: $5.95
Hemorrhoid Helper Hot Sauce
Hemorrhoid Helper Hot Sauce - There is no preparation you can take to minimize the intense burning Hemorrhoid Helper Hot Sauce delivers. You could sit on an industrial-sized chunk of ice all day, every day, and the only thing your ass will accomplish is melting the ice for a glass of water, to hopefully ease the burning of your lips. Hopefully you do not have a desk job, otherwise, you might have to take your week of vacation early to recover. Hmm...
Our price: $5.95
Hog's Ass Garlic Habanero Hot Sauce
When you eat this Hog's Ass Garlic Habanero Hot Sauce, it is perfectly acceptable for you to act like a little pig. In fact, we think you will go hog wild for this sauce altogether. If you had a trough, now would be the time to fill it up with this stupendous slop. It is fiery hot and garlicky, and could draw your mouth in like a sow's rear, but hopefully you will recover before they load you on to a truck headed for the slaughterhouse.
Our price: $5.95
Hot Bitch At The Beach
This sizzlin' sauce delivers all the sweltering heat of being at the beach on a scorching summer day, watching a swarm of hot bitchy broads sunning their backs, boobs and round little bottoms. That is what summer is all about, right? Hot Bitch At The Beach is so smokin' hot, it might even singe your speedo right off! And, thanks to this sauce, you can capture that bitchin' beachy feeling without getting sand all up in your crotch.
Our price: $5.95
Hot Buns At The Beach Hot Sauce
Hot Buns At The Beach Hot Sauce is hotter than two perfect protruding deeply tanned mounds of flesh between lycra dental floss (also known as a thong). And it could probably melt you into a pool of goo in the very same fashion. All well rounded, smooth and glistening without a single chunk to be found. No fat at all, just slick, hot, wet and malleable flesh. This sauce is liable to give a guy a woody just thinking about it.
Our price: $5.95
Hottest Hot Sauce
This is it – The hottest hot sauce – The one you have been searching for. This is pure hot peppers mashed, roasted and melded into a wicked hot sauce. We even threw in a little chile extract to really set your skull on fire.
Our price: $6.95
Hurts So Good Hot Sauce
Come on baby make it hurt so good. Like John Mellencamp, Hurts So Good Hot Sauce is a real cougar. Even if you are not from a small town, this sauce is like a bomb in your mouth, but not really a cherry one. Sometimes we really are stupid when we are young. Listening to John Cougar Mellencamp thinking that we would leave our hometown right after graduation, maybe take our best girl with us. And then soon the kids start showing up, showing us just who we are. Growing up hurts just as much as this song says, and this sauce will hurt your lips, tongue and throat.
Our price: $6.95
Idiot Boyz Habanero Hot Sauce
Idiot Boyz Habanero Hot Sauce - Unlike the Jonas Brothers, this masterful production is no flash in the pan, but rather a flash of heat on your tongue with staying power. You can depend on this sauce to be around longer than a boy band, and to hit every note the way it was intended. You'll be burnin' up with the intensity of a million screaming preteens. And like the Jonas Brothers to their hapless fans, you might cry at the mere presence of Idiot Boyz Habanero Hot Sauce.
Our price: $5.95
Iguana XXX Habanero Hot Sauce
This is the Hila monster of sauce. One taste of Iguana XXX Habanero Hot Sauce and you will breathe fire too. But the taste is not monstrous. Ungodly hot, perhaps, but definitely not monstrous. It is pretty curious how we want to intentionally burn our mouths and feel fire in the pit of our stomach. We suppose it has to do something with boredom and the need to seek exciting challenges, as well as have pissing matches with friends.
Our price: $4.95
InsaneChicken's Fire Roasted Habanero Hot Sauce
InsaneChicken's Fire Roasted Habanero Hot Sauce might make you run around like a chicken with its head cut off. Do you still want to give it a shot, or are you too chicken to try it? This sauce is nothing to squak at. You might lay and egg or two after you taste it though. It will probably burn your beak up, rupture your rectum and ruffle some feathers, but you will go back and peck at it some more!
Our price: $5.95
