1 Million Scoville Pepper Extract
1 Million Scoville Pepper Extract is sooooooooooo tremendously hot, it carries a warning that's not to be taken lightly. A honest, to goodness, we aren't even shitting you, warning. It's only, only to be used as a small drop into something that will dilute it. And even then, it will still be hotter than anything you have ever tasted in your life. If you need to bore a hole through wood or metal, this extract could probably get the job done.
Our price: $23.95
10 Hot Sauce
Like Bo Derek, 10 Hot Sauce is a perfect 10, even if it has been around the block a couple times. And as far as how hot it is heatwise, it would definitely rate a 10 as well. And how much pain will it cause you? You have seen the pain scale at the doctor's office, right? Well, this sauce is sure to put a pain of 10 on your face, but boy is it worth it!
Our price: $9.95
Acid Rain Hot Sauce
When Acid Rain Hot Sauce rains upon your palette, we forecast a serious rise in precipitation from every pore. First the beads of sweat form on your forehead. Then your upper lip drips as the snot runs from your nose. Then, as your tears well up, they spill onto your cheeks and right into the sauce. Next, the rings under your arms widen as the sweat pours out of your pits. And trickle, trickle, trickle---the last place you wanted water to collect. The long bead of sweat rolls down you back and straight down your crack. This rain will soak you.
Our price: $8.95
African Rhino Peri-Peri Peppers Sauce Hot
Taste African Rhino Peri-Peri Peppers Sauce Hot sauce and you will know exactly what it is like to be a finger puppet. This sauce is like a rabid rhino's horn right up the ass. There is no mercy to be had here. This sauce will grab ahold of your insides and take them for a wild, tearing ride. And, if you are not extremely careful, it can pull your innards right out through your sphincter (or what will be left of it).
Our price: $7.95
African Rhino Peri-Peri Peppers Sauce Mild
Imagine the tiny little horn on a precious newborn baby rhino. While it does not yet inspire sheer terror in the hearts of warriors, or inspire visions of people being hellaciously gored in the side, it does tend to intimidate you just a smidge. That is the way we would describe African Rhino Peri-Peri Peppers Sauce Mild sauce. It could definitely manage to hurt you if you let it, or it could simply surprise you by being playful and sweet.
Our price: $7.95
African Rhino Peri-Peri Peppers Very Hot Sauce
African Rhino Peri-Peri Peppers Very Hot Sauce is the big dog daddy rhino of the clan. He is pissed that you are sniffing around his family. He will come after you with a vengeance, rearing his red hot, flaming horn. He will pick you up by the bunghole, and skewer your ass all the way to your throat. Then, he will shake his big ugly head from side to side. Goodbye entrails. It is a real jungle out there with this sauce.
Our price: $7.95
Alien Anal Probe Xtra Terestial
Get your hands on some of Alien Anal Probe Xtra Terestial hot sauce for a burn that is out of this world. Had E.T. tried some of this sauce, he wouldn't have even been able to phone home. He simply wouldn't have had a voice left. You will feel like a white, hot probe has just been inserted into your rectum, but it is the absolute toughest sauce you will ever love. You can even show it to your leader.
Our price: $5.95
Another Bloody Day In Paradise
Are we there yet? The words you hate to hear on a road trip. Do not worry, a trip with Another Bloody Day In Paradise will never produce those four words. The kids will be too busy drinking down the juice boxes trying to relieve the burn. Go ahead and pack your bags and make sure your hotel has an ice maker. You will want to take a long vacation from your tongue once you taste this sauce. Consider it a holiday in hell.
Our price: $5.95
Arrogant Bastard Ale
For some reason, Arrogant Bastard Ale just thinks it is better than everyone else on the planet. And, well, perhaps it is. You know this kind of sauce. The sauce that claims to be the best, the hottest, the most unique. You will not know whether it is true or not until you taste it, but we can vouch for the validity of this sauce's vanity. It is smokin' hot, hella good and you need to try it!
Our price: $8.95
Asbirin Hot Sauce
If you prescribe to Asbirin Hot Sauce, you might get rid of the headache, but you may experience some serious but rare side effects such as dry mouth, diarrhea and constipation. As always, do not take if you are pregnant, nursing or want to keep your butthole intact. As with all prescription drugs, do not take more than the recommended dosage, and you better take with food! This stuff is guaranteed not to make you drowsy either.
Our price: $5.95
Ass in Antartica Hot Sauce
Like an ulcer that continues to expand, Ass in Antartica Hot Sauce will take the hole in the ozone layer and rip it wide open. Good thing you do not live in the north pole, because this sauce is so hot, it is likely to take the giant chunk of ice right off of the map. Now we finally know the truth, melting icebergs have nothing to do with global warming, but the ass warming effects of this hot sauce.
Our price: $5.95
Ass in Hell Hot Sauce
Ass in Hell Hot Sauce - There's no journey to self-discovery that starts here. There is no limbo. And you're no Dante. You are, however, in the ninth circle of hell when you discover the level of heat this sauce can produce. Welcome to your very own circle of hell. Dante showed us that every unsavory action we take in life results in a proper punishment in hell. We'd like to know what you did to deserve the burn in store!
Our price: $5.95
Ass in Space Hot Sauce
Houston, you may see a really big, messy problem starting to fire up on your launch pad once you shuttle Ass in Space Hot Sauce to your tastebuds, then to infinity and beyond. With one taste, we think this sauce might launch Uranus into orbit. Seriously, just one little taste and your ass is going to blast off. Better have a some rocket fuel on back up, because you are going to blow all of your engines at lift off.
Our price: $5.95
Ass in the Tub Armageddon Special Reserve
Rub a dub dub, your ass is staying in the tub for good after you have some of Ass in the Tub Armageddon Special Reserve hot sauce. You better keep the cold water running and your ass glued to the faucet after daring to dabble with this sauce. This sauce delivers an apocolyptic burn that does not fade quickly. And we do not need a prophecy to foretell the pain and suffering your ass is in for. The burn in this bottle could only come from the Antichrist.
Our price: $9.95
Ass in the Tub Hot Sauce
Ass in the Tub Hot Sauce is so hot it will sizzle your nuts clean off! And if you are female, then you just plain lucked out! You will need to add some ice to your bathtub to aid in curing the burn. Not certified as a birth control method, but we think this might slow your baby maker down just a little. If you are this much of a numbnuts to taste this sauce in the first place, maybe it is a good thing that you are not able to procreate!
Our price: $5.95
Ass Kickin Cajun Hot Sauce
This Ass Kickin Cajun Hot Sauce is ragin' cajun and will rip your rear end to shreds. Whoooo! We guar-ahn-tee… This Ass Kickin Cajun Hot Sauce is hotter than Girls Gone Wild Mardi Gras edition. Sorry, we can't do anything about girl on girl action...that, friends, is completely up to you. We just make the sauce, it is up to you what you drizzle it on. We don't know that we would recommend doing body shots with it thought. A shot of that stuff and you would try to suck the bayou dry, gators and all, just to relieve the sting.
Our price: $4.95
Ass Kickin Roasted Garlic Hot Sauce
Tired of all the hubbub around the stupid Twilight movies? Then kick some vampire ass right out of the house with this Ass Kickin Roasted Garlic Hot Sauce. You won't see the site of a moody teen or their vampire obsession when you keep the family focused on burning them at the stake with this sauce. You can even stave of a pack of werewolves with this sauce. It is so hot, they won't bother bringing their mangy asses your way.
Our price: $4.95
Ass Kickin' Hot Sauce
Ass Kickin' Hot Sauce - Ask someone to slap you, pinch you, kick you, punch you, and we guarantee they all seem like love taps next to Ass Kickin Hot Sauce. And it is not just the intense burning in your churning in your guts that make this battery acid in a bottle the most brutal thing your stomach has ever experienced. It is what comes next. An ass kicking seems mild compared to the next few hours your ass will endure.
Our price: $4.95
Ass Reaper Hot Sauce
Ass Reaper Hot Sauce is proof that you should not believe everything you hear. You should, in fact, fear the reaper. This sauce will not wait until you are on your death bed to seek your soul. It wants to claim you when you are perfectly healthy, but weak in your desire for sauce. It will wait until you are happily munching on meat kicked up with ass reaper. It will come to take its seat with your seat. You reap what you sow!
Our price: $9.95
Ass Whoopin Redneck Sauce
You will have to go call child and family welfare on this sauce, 'cuz it is all about hauling off and slapping everybody around. It may apologize profusely, but it can't help from doing it again. It is so hot, it could melt the tires off your El Camino, and that baby is up on blocks! Usually the pavement feels hot enough to fry an egg. This time, the pavement better watch out in case you drip a drop of Ass Whoopin Redneck Sauce on it!
Our price: $5.95
Backdraft Hot Sauce
Backdraft Hot Sauce will cause a 4 alarm fire in your mouth! And "turd" degree burns on your rear end. Better call the fire department and your next of kin! They will need to douse the flames and take down names before the night is over. And they may have to perform a search and rescue when you go into the bathroom and do not come out for hours and hours. You can't avoid the flames, but you can take precautions to stop the spread...keep the sauce all to yourself!
Our price: $5.95
Bee Sting Honey 'N Habanero Pepper Sauce
Bee Sting Honey 'N Habanero Pepper Sauce is hot and sticky sweet from your head down to your feet, yeah! You can pour all the sugar you want to on a person, but they still will not be as delectable as this sauce. And, you really will not be tempted by just sugar. Though it could be dangerous to slather yourself with this sauce, anyone that is having a hard time finding a date, might try it. We think that many many people will want to get up close and personal with you then.
Our price: $5.95
Bee Sting Mango Passion Hot Sauce
Now you know the real secret to having lips like Angelina Jolie. It must be Bee Sting Mango Passion Hot Sauce. No wonder Brad Pitt hangs around…it must be for a taste of this sauce that is still lingering on Angie's lips. The attraction is finally starting to make perfect sense. Perhaps Angie flies just to get to this sauce too? Maybe she even has a lair with an entire stash of it! Better get to this bottle before Angie does.
Our price: $5.95
Big Hot One Hot Sauce
The Big Hot One hot sauce is like the Queen Latifah of hot sauce. You are not really sure whether this sauce has been loved more by men or women. Queen Latifah can be smokin' hot when she wants to, but one tough broad when she has to. And just like Queen, this sauce has its very own flavor, and is not out to prove itself to anybody. You can take it or leave it, but it will put on quite a performance.
Our price: $5.95
Big Johnson's Twice Burnin' Hot Sauce
More burning here than Lindsay Lohan's fire crotch. And just like Lindsay, you will not know which way to go when you taste Big Johnson's Twice Burnin' Hot Sauce. You might be left a little confused. You might come to love this sauce so much that you would spend half the night on someone's doorstep, just trying to get another taste. We suppose it is better to be living it up with this sauce, versus the other kind of sauce.
Our price: $5.95
Black Mamba Hot Sauce
Black Mamba Hot Sauce has an appropriate name for a concoction with a hell of a bite, and it will act like a snake for your plumbing, and pushing it out in a jiffy! And, true to its name, it just may turn your mouth, your insides and your poor little sphincter black! You might fart out ashes! When this snake strikes, it could swell your lips up for sure. But the only antidote is water and time.
Our price: $19.95
Blair's 2AM Hot Sauce
There is not much you can't make a person do at two in the morning if you are busy partying. And, it might be interesting to conduct a little hot sauce challenge after the marathon game of beer pong you are playing, wouldn't you say? No cups or ping pong balls needed. Just need a bottle of Blair's 2AM Hot Sauce, a finger and an Iron-clad stomach. It is up to you if you wait for the Taco Bell run.
Our price: $39.95
Blair's 3AM Hot Sauce
By three in the morning, you have probably cleaned out all of the beer in the house long, long ago. The only thing that now sits in the refrigerator just waiting to be chugged is the Blair's 3AM hot sauce. Do you dare? Better yet, do you dare your friends to step up and be man enough to try it too? Keep the entertainment going with a late night sauce slam competition. Now you will definitely be alert enough to drive home!
Our price: $47.00
Blair's After Death
Could there be more hell in store after you keel over from Blair's After Death hot sauce? If you could feel it after you are sent to the hereafter, you would know that there is much, much worse in store. Try having a sharp knife slice through your sternum, having someone reach in and pull out your insides, and then having the burning trapped in when they sew up your lips from the inside. There is a fate worse then death--it is After Death.
Our price: $6.95
Blair's Golden Death Hot Sauce
The box says:
It's Goldelicious!! Just the right amount of heat for just about everything!!
DEAR CHILLIPAL
Since 1989, it has been my passion to create food that makes you smile. I love to watch your eyes light up, your face fill with laughter, and the warm glow of heat make you FEEL ALIVE!!!
I am fun in a bottle for you to enjoy!
Welcome to my wonderful world of spice!
Just be yourself and Feel Alive!!
Your Chillipal,
Blair Lazar.
It's Goldelicious!! Just the right amount of heat for just about everything!!
DEAR CHILLIPAL
Since 1989, it has been my passion to create food that makes you smile. I love to watch your eyes light up, your face fill with laughter, and the warm glow of heat make you FEEL ALIVE!!!
I am fun in a bottle for you to enjoy!
Welcome to my wonderful world of spice!
Just be yourself and Feel Alive!!
Your Chillipal,
Blair Lazar.
Our price: $6.95
Blair's Hot Sauce
Talk about being burned at the stake! Blair's Hot Sauce is a real witch. And like the Blair Witch, it is mostly only scary because everyone else tells you it is scary. And we are here to tell you that you SHOULD be scared. Like the Blair Witch, this sauce really is more a mystery than horror. You don't really know how bad it is until you see it for yourself! You need to taste this sauce for yourself to believe that it either is, or isn't, a horror.
Our price: $5.95
Blair's MegaDeath Hot Sauce
Blair's MegaDeath Hot Sauce - Just like the Megadeath album, killing is this sauce's business, and business is good! Even if you have never listened to Megadeath, you can fully appreciate that this sauce is so killer, it is named for serious metal. We should tell you that when this sauce meets metal, it is likely to burn through it. First, this sauce will kill off your tastebuds, then will go for the rest of your body. You will probably wish you were dead by the time it finds its way out!
Our price: $9.95
Blair's Pure Death Hot Sauce
Blair's Pure Death Hot Sauce is so incredibly hot, you will probably kick the bucket just by taking a big whiff of it. And maybe it will not do you in right away, especially if you are super careful, but abusing this sauce to the point that you overdose on it, you will definitely bite the big one. Though, you might just bite into a big one instead…a sandwich, that is, especially if it is smothered in this stuff.
Our price: $7.95
Blair's Sudden Death
Blair's Sudden Death - Don't you know how fragile a thing life is? You will once you taste this sauce! We really are not sure why anyone wants to risk losing it all to sauce, but there are just some really crazy folks out there. We suppose you are one of them? Oh well, you know what they say...no brain, no pain. It is your brain you are putting in jeopardy, not ours. Better get your affairs in order.
Our price: $8.95
Blair's Ultra Death Sauce
Taste Blair's Ultra Death Sauce and you dig your own grave. If you want to be remembered, you better commission your own headstone, because you might take down the rest of your family with the aftermath this sauce creates. At the same token, you might not want to taste this sauce if you are going to be all alone. We certainly do not want you to die alone. Sauce is meant to be enjoyed in the company of those that can join in your misfortune.
Our price: $9.95
Blind Betty Blind in the Rind Hot Sauce
You better have one hell of a thick skin if you are going to pony up and try this Blind Betty Blind in the Rind Hot Sauce. You might even want to do it blind folded to make it more exciting and experience it from Betty's perspective. It is pretty appealing, but not at all kind. Like Blind Betty's other creations, there is not much she has left out. Maybe she can't see, but she can certainly feel the burn that this sauce creates, so she knows when it is just right.
Our price: $5.95
Blind Betty Original Recipe Hot Sauce
When she was in the kitchen fumbling around, Blind Betty apparently grabbed everything in sight (obviously not her sight), and put it right into this Blind Betty Original Recipe Hot Sauce. And just because she can't see, does not mean anything whatsoever is wrong with her taster! They say when you lose one sense, another is heightened! Nothing will be wrong with your taster either, at least until you get a taste of this battery acid. It is liable to burn a hole through your tongue!
Our price: $5.95
Blind Betty Pineapple Pizzazz Hot Sauce
There really is no dainty, delicate way to say what has to be said about Blind Betty Pineapple Pizzazz Hot Sauce. Frankly, when this sauce makes its way through your insides, it is like a pineapple coming out of your bunghole. YIKES! That is scorching hot and scratchy. The burning will make you wince. Sure, you will wonder over the hot, sweet concoction when you taste it, but you might as well take a steel brush to the scrotum.
Our price: $5.95
Blue's Carolina Pepper Sauce
Blue's Carolina Pepper Sauce is enough to turn brown eyes blue. Blue eyes brown, and green eyes crosseyed. With a taste of pepper, your peepers are going to sting and water, and pretty soon you will be blubbering just like Jerry Lewis at an MDA telethon. Maybe you do not usually give to charity cases, but if anyone is in need of a good hot sauce, we think you will be a true friend and come through with some of this stuff.
Our price: $5.95
Blue's Habanero Reserve Hot Sauce
Please do not be blue. You can have Blue's Habanero Reserve Hot Sauce! We would have to say that this sauce is a natural antidepressant. Why, when you take this in the prescribed dose, you will be dancing and shouting and making merry in no time! Seriously, this sauce could light up anybody's face. It would, of course, we a light with a red hue, but it will restore some of your vitality. Then again, if you get too much, you might risk an overdose!
Our price: $6.95
Boomslang Ghost Pepper Sauce
Boomslang Ghost Pepper Hot Sauce from Florida fals into that "hottest hot sauce" category.
See the snake on the label? It's the Boomslang, one of Africa's most lethal. See the pepper? It's the infamous Ghost Pepper.
Put the two together and you have Boomlsang Hot Sauce, a unique blend of all natural ingredients.
One taste and you'll see why this is a sauce to die for!
See the snake on the label? It's the Boomslang, one of Africa's most lethal. See the pepper? It's the infamous Ghost Pepper.
Put the two together and you have Boomlsang Hot Sauce, a unique blend of all natural ingredients.
One taste and you'll see why this is a sauce to die for!
Our price: $8.95
Brand New Asshole
We hope you have a hospital or a walk in clinic nearby (not that you will actually be in any shape to physically walk in). We hope your insurance covers stitching up of the shitter. You are going to need to buy a brand new asshole when you are done with this shitter shredding sauce. Of course everybody poops, but Brand New Asshole hot sauce takes it to the extremes. You will be pooping until there is nothing more to poop than tomorrow's dinner.
Our price: $5.95
Buhba's Butt Blaster Hot Sauce
For an exercise in serious sauce, you will want to join Buhba's Butt Blaster Hot Sauce. This routine has nothing to do with cardio, but the affects might give you one heck of a gluteal workout. You have been up in the gym working on your fitness for how long? Well, in just one night, you will drop the baby weight, the spare tire, and the rest of your guts. This is a workout. Call it bathroom calisthenics.
Our price: $5.95
Busha Browne Hot Pepper Sauce
If you are a brunette, then after you are done with Busha Browne Hot Pepper Sauce, your carpeting will for sure match your drapes, even if it did not match before, and even if you do not have carpeting. (Perhaps you have hard wood instead?) And, they will both also be perfectly color coordinated to match the new, poo colored décor in your bathroom. We hope you are rather fond of the color brown, because it will be all over the place!
Our price: $4.95
Cackalacky Spice Sauce
Cackalacky Spice Sauce - Get a load of the name on this sauce! What does that mean anyhow? We have pondered it for a good long while, and we decided that it is just one of those weird phrases you are likely to shout out when you taste this tremendous sauce. Maybe you will say something incomprehensible or nonsensical like croikie, sweet sassy mollassey, cackalacky or even cackalacky ding dong. What can we say? It inspires a gut reaction, not intelligent, witty repartee.
Our price: $5.95
Camel Toe Hot Sauce
Camel Toe Hot Sauce is like arid desert heat between your lips. And sorta like Iraq between your crack. Hot and miserable, but quite something to behold. With the burn you get from this sauce, you might need another pair of pants on hand, in case you can't make it to the bathroom, or in case you get a little bloatey. Better put on your stretchy old woman pants, you may need room for the expansion. We are talking good old-fashioned elastic britches.
Our price: $5.95
Caution Hot Sauce
Get out the road flares and yellow tape. Caution Hot Sauce is going to cause a major wreck. You do not want to be first on the scene of this accident waiting to happen. If you are, you better be ready to deliver the first responder help. First aid consists of administering water to the poor sap that tasted this sauce. Next, look for the cause of the accident. That would be the sauce. Last, take it and run!
Our price: $5.95
Charlie's Hard Times Hot Sauce
Charlie's Hard Times Hot Sauce - In these tough economic times, there might not be enough money left over at the end of the month to make the monthly mortgage payment, but there will always be an emergency fund set aside so you can hit the sauce! Out of Charlie's Hard Times? Get down to the cash advance place and get money for your six pack of hot sauce. It is more important than diapers. Look, you can make those out of old sheets and rags. Formula is up there on the scale of importance, but this sauce? Top priority.
Our price: $5.95
Choke Your Chicken Hot Sauce
Choke Your Chicken Peri-Peri Hot Sauce is a sauce that will have you panting, pleading and calling out for mercy. But, you will not fnd any in this bottle.
Disclaimer: No actual Chickens were choked to make this sauce.
Disclaimer: No actual Chickens were choked to make this sauce.
Our price: $5.95
Cholula Hot Sauce
Cholula Hot Sauce could quickly start replacing ketchup as America's favorite breakfast condiment, then it will probably set its sights on lunch and dinner time! You will most likely start seeing it in almost every corner diner, and you will see it at every authentic Mexican restaurant. And, if you want to create kicked up dishes for your family that are anything but ho-hum, you will run and get a bottle or five for your home.
Our price: $3.95
